yesterday we celebrated Pioneer Day here in Utah and i started the holiday by running in my first 5K which happened to be the first annual Temple to Temple 5K. as the temple and pioneers were the setting for this run, the focus was on family history and they suggested running for an ancestor. my mom's side of the family has a rich pioneer heritage and i enjoyed the chance to feel a connection with the pioneers and learn more about my ancestors in keeping with the spirit of the run.
the first presidency message was also on pioneers and having the pioneer spirit. one part of that talk stood out to me.
"The unsatisfied yearnings of the soul will not be met by a never-ending quest for joy amidst the thrills of sensation and vice."
this what my addiction tries to cheat me to believe, that i can satisfy my feelings or that i can escape from those feelings. it will never satisfy the yearnings of my soul. the only things that can satisfy my yearnings are truth and light and love.
i yearn to be in a relationship progressing towards a temple marriage and when the time is right to be married and start a family
i yearn to exercise my priesthood in blessing the lives of others
i yearn to finish school, get my degree and find a fulfilling career that will allow me to provide for a family
i yearn to be a better friend
i yearn recover from this addiction and be a support to help others recover
i yearn to replace my criticism with better expressing my love and appreciation
i yearn to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ
i also recently 'liked' all the first presidency and quorum of the twelve apostles facebook profiles as well as the official LDS and mormon.org profiles. if you have a facebook and haven't liked their pages yet i highly recommend it.
the mormon.org profile had a message relating to the pioneer spirit that i really enjoyed.
"True change often involves blazing new trails and entering new and unfamiliar territory.Although it can initially be uncomfortable, pioneering uncharted territory by creating life-changing habits can make you feel more fulfilled as a person.
In your quest for personal improvement, never give up hope. Keep moving in the right direction, and God will bless your righteous efforts."
i love that it relates being pioneers to making the lifestyle changes in our habits to bring our lives more in harmony with the principles of the gospel and that is what i feel recovery is all about. it's about recognizing that change is possible and making efforts to create our life and develop habits in harmony with the teachings of the gospel. and there is no righteous effort that God does not recognize. yes change is hard, and yes it will be uncomfortable, but oh will it be worth it!
the dictionary defines a pioneer as "one who goes before to prepare or open up the way for others to follow". the pioneers weren't just the first group of saints to enter the salt lake region because being a pioneer isn't about being the first. being a pioneer is about taking the journey. every single person who endured the trials and hardships and sufferings and losses and struggles to travel west qualified themselves as pioneers because they went through that trial and endured the journey and prepared the way for others. how much stronger was the faith and deeper the conversion of those early saints who made that trek.
whether you're the only member of the church in your family or if all your ancestors have been members since the church was founded, we can still be pioneers today as we seek to keep that pioneer spirit by choosing to commit ourselves to making the journey, to pattern our lives after the Saviors, to make and keep sacred covenants and to continually travel along the road of recovery so that we might help to make the trail safe for those who will follow us.
25 July 2013
21 July 2013
love will find me
heard this song on the way to church this morning
2nd verse i connected with the most
love will find me
todays lesson in sunday school was about trials and how because of how much God loves us he tries and tests us and allows us to pass through sorrow so that we can learn and grow... pretty fitting for what i'm currently going through.
from But for a Small Moment -
"If God chooses to teach us the things we most need to learn because he loves us, and if he seeks to tame our souls and gentle us in the way we most need to be tamed and most need to be gentled, it follows that he will customize the challenges he gives us and individualize them so that we will be prepared for life in a better world by his refusal to take us out of this world, even though we are not of it. In the eternal ecology of things we must pray, therefore, not that things be taken from us, but that God's will be accomplished through us."
God then doesn't always cause the trials and suffering we go through perhaps as often as He allows us to go through them. and the truth is most of my suffering has come as a result of my own sins, but that suffering can work for my good if i allow it to by continuing to repent, recover and be obedient to my covenants and responsibilities.
its not that He necessarily caused me to fall in love with someone who would end up leaving me or that he wanted me to go through this extremely emotional loss of our relationship or that it was His intention for me to erroneously believe that we loved each other enough to keep working towards being sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.
it's because of his perfect love for me that He allows me to be tried and tested and for burdens to be placed upon my shoulders. He allows me to go through all of these difficult experiences, whether by His design or due to my own self imposed suffering, that through these experiences i can develop the abilities i need to develop and into the man he would have me develop so that one day, through my faithfulness, i can become as He is.
with His perfect love,
with His infinite knowledge,
with His eternal perspective,
He has designed a perfectly personal plan for me that is better than anything i could ever choose for myself and it is merely my responsibility while here on earth to be obedient and submit to His will and not mine own.
a true and real and loving and lasting relationship will find me.
2nd verse i connected with the most
love will find me
todays lesson in sunday school was about trials and how because of how much God loves us he tries and tests us and allows us to pass through sorrow so that we can learn and grow... pretty fitting for what i'm currently going through.
from But for a Small Moment -
"If God chooses to teach us the things we most need to learn because he loves us, and if he seeks to tame our souls and gentle us in the way we most need to be tamed and most need to be gentled, it follows that he will customize the challenges he gives us and individualize them so that we will be prepared for life in a better world by his refusal to take us out of this world, even though we are not of it. In the eternal ecology of things we must pray, therefore, not that things be taken from us, but that God's will be accomplished through us."
God then doesn't always cause the trials and suffering we go through perhaps as often as He allows us to go through them. and the truth is most of my suffering has come as a result of my own sins, but that suffering can work for my good if i allow it to by continuing to repent, recover and be obedient to my covenants and responsibilities.
its not that He necessarily caused me to fall in love with someone who would end up leaving me or that he wanted me to go through this extremely emotional loss of our relationship or that it was His intention for me to erroneously believe that we loved each other enough to keep working towards being sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.
it's because of his perfect love for me that He allows me to be tried and tested and for burdens to be placed upon my shoulders. He allows me to go through all of these difficult experiences, whether by His design or due to my own self imposed suffering, that through these experiences i can develop the abilities i need to develop and into the man he would have me develop so that one day, through my faithfulness, i can become as He is.
with His perfect love,
with His infinite knowledge,
with His eternal perspective,
He has designed a perfectly personal plan for me that is better than anything i could ever choose for myself and it is merely my responsibility while here on earth to be obedient and submit to His will and not mine own.
a true and real and loving and lasting relationship will find me.
18 July 2013
feeling exercise
my goal for today was to allow myself to be emotionally vulnerable; to not suppress any feelings but to feel them as deeply as strongly as they wanted to manifest themselves in me and to finally allow myself to fully feel experience and grieve the loss of my relationship.
this involved a lot of crying and praying and crying
(crying headaches are the worst)
i hate that i've allowed this addiction to have so much of an effect on my life and how it's affected the lives of those closest to me.
i hate the pain the hurt the anguish the anxiety, all the negative feelings that i've been the cause of in the people i want to love the most...
ive spent so much time hurting those closest to me because of my selfishness, my insecurities, my insensitivity, my not wanting to take responsibility and wanting to escape my feelings.
i am so so very sorry. so much so i feel inadequate to express it with words
i wish i could go back and change it all
but i know i can't
the only thing i can do is repent, ask for forgiveness and go to work on becoming the man God intends for me to be
i know that i am incapable of taking away the hurt
i know i can't heal the pain
but i have faith in Jesus Christ and in His atonement and i can only pray that as i become a better disciple of Him who is the only One with the power to heal, i can be made an instrument in His hands:
that where i once cut down i can help to lift and strengthen
that where i once caused pain i can help bring peace
that where i once caused hurt i can help to feel healing
that where i once caused fear and doubt i can help to find faith and hope
that by my actions i can exemplify His life and His teachings and bless the lives of all those with whom i associate
this involved a lot of crying and praying and crying
(crying headaches are the worst)
i hate that i've allowed this addiction to have so much of an effect on my life and how it's affected the lives of those closest to me.
i hate the pain the hurt the anguish the anxiety, all the negative feelings that i've been the cause of in the people i want to love the most...
ive spent so much time hurting those closest to me because of my selfishness, my insecurities, my insensitivity, my not wanting to take responsibility and wanting to escape my feelings.
i am so so very sorry. so much so i feel inadequate to express it with words
i wish i could go back and change it all
but i know i can't
the only thing i can do is repent, ask for forgiveness and go to work on becoming the man God intends for me to be
i know that i am incapable of taking away the hurt
i know i can't heal the pain
but i have faith in Jesus Christ and in His atonement and i can only pray that as i become a better disciple of Him who is the only One with the power to heal, i can be made an instrument in His hands:
that where i once cut down i can help to lift and strengthen
that where i once caused pain i can help bring peace
that where i once caused hurt i can help to feel healing
that where i once caused fear and doubt i can help to find faith and hope
that by my actions i can exemplify His life and His teachings and bless the lives of all those with whom i associate
17 July 2013
But For a Small Moment
new favorite talk
theres so much in here
maybe later i'll annotate some of my favorite parts
but i just wanted to get it out there.
enjoi
given by Elder Neal A. Maxwell at a BYU fireside in 1974
theres so much in here
maybe later i'll annotate some of my favorite parts
but i just wanted to get it out there.
enjoi
given by Elder Neal A. Maxwell at a BYU fireside in 1974
16 July 2013
black hole
things that make me happy:
exercise
health
sun
water
outdoors
family
church activity and temple work
being in love and in a relationship
the void from the absence of the last one however seems to be a black hole trapping and keeping any happiness i might gain from the others from reaching me.
with where i'm at emotionally im just not ready to replace or fill that void with anyone else because i'm still in love and want to be with d.
(this is where this post applies to recovery) i recognize that with how i'm feeling if i were to seriously date anyone else right now it would be more of a means to replace/cover/ignore/mask/hide/suppress my feelings and emotions for d. as opposed to a genuine desire to date. maybe that will change in the next day, a week, a month, i don't know. but i do know that right now i'd rather suffer being single and working through and learning from this experience what Heavenly Father wants me to gain and learn than to use or lead on one of His precious daughters as a selfish means of looking for a way out.
i don't know what to do
even tho i was surrounded by family i felt alone
i try to act like i'm happy, but i'm really not
i'm trying to keep it all together but i don't know how
everyone tells me i should move on but i can't seem to let go and i know its because deep down theres a part of me that doesn't want to.
UPDATE:
nothing is as bad as satan would have us believe.
i realize a lot of my fear and depression and doubt and anxiety are a result of my recent slip and can be overcome by refocusing my faith and hope in the Savior.
He won't necessarily take away everything i'm feeling or the burdens that weigh me down, but he can and will strengthen me that they may seem light as i seek His divine help.
if we never get back together i'm still in a much better place and a much better man than who i was before we met. d. has made a significant and permanent impression on my life that i will always be grateful for.
i know Heavenly Father has a great work for me to do during my time here on this earth and as i'm faithful he will prepare the way for me to accomplish that which he has planned for me to do.
exercise
health
sun
water
outdoors
family
church activity and temple work
being in love and in a relationship
the void from the absence of the last one however seems to be a black hole trapping and keeping any happiness i might gain from the others from reaching me.
with where i'm at emotionally im just not ready to replace or fill that void with anyone else because i'm still in love and want to be with d.
(this is where this post applies to recovery) i recognize that with how i'm feeling if i were to seriously date anyone else right now it would be more of a means to replace/cover/ignore/mask/hide/suppress my feelings and emotions for d. as opposed to a genuine desire to date. maybe that will change in the next day, a week, a month, i don't know. but i do know that right now i'd rather suffer being single and working through and learning from this experience what Heavenly Father wants me to gain and learn than to use or lead on one of His precious daughters as a selfish means of looking for a way out.
i don't know what to do
even tho i was surrounded by family i felt alone
i try to act like i'm happy, but i'm really not
i'm trying to keep it all together but i don't know how
everyone tells me i should move on but i can't seem to let go and i know its because deep down theres a part of me that doesn't want to.
UPDATE:
nothing is as bad as satan would have us believe.
i realize a lot of my fear and depression and doubt and anxiety are a result of my recent slip and can be overcome by refocusing my faith and hope in the Savior.
He won't necessarily take away everything i'm feeling or the burdens that weigh me down, but he can and will strengthen me that they may seem light as i seek His divine help.
if we never get back together i'm still in a much better place and a much better man than who i was before we met. d. has made a significant and permanent impression on my life that i will always be grateful for.
i know Heavenly Father has a great work for me to do during my time here on this earth and as i'm faithful he will prepare the way for me to accomplish that which he has planned for me to do.
15 July 2013
suppressed
i'm looking for a distraction
something to keep my mind occupied
something to take my attention away from what i'm feeling
writing has become my therapy.
so i write.
and for better or for worse i'm not really making much effort to censor it.
i do feel like i probably shouldn't share such raw emotions in this setting because it might have an affect on d. and i don't want to do anything that might negatively affect her even tho she made the choice to no longer be an intimate part of my life.
but then i begin to question if maybe i'm writing this is out of some subconscious ulterior motive because i know that she might read it and maybe it could effect some change...
but then i think about the midnight texts she sent me the last week saying how everything she did reminded her of me and that she was remembering the good times of our relationship... all the while she was with her new boy on a vacation back to visit her home. and then i think about the emotional roller-coaster i went on from reading those texts and not being able to control the excited feelings of hope that immediately came, only to later re-read the texts and realize she made it a point to correct what she had sent me to say she really only missed the daily friendship and that could be replaced with time.
dissed.
and then i think about how that resulted in absolutely no change no effort no nothing from her but that i was still alone and made perfectly aware again of the void still in me and having to fight back against all these strong emotions i have for her that had escaped. and it also helped me to realize that even a month later she still has a lot more of an affect on me than i'd like to admit.
but then i think about everything i said and did and tried for another chance at "us" and how i got shut down at every effort and that none of that made any change so her reading this emotionally vulnerable blog post really won't change anything either. in fact i'd guess it might even give her a lil more confidence in the decision to leave and move on to the next guy 'cause why would you want to be with someone with all my problems and who's this distraught... heh heh... efffff...
lose/lose...
also why is it that every time i tell someone we broke up their follow up question is always "is it permanent?" what does that even mean?! i just told you she broke up with me, that i tried to do everything i could think of for another chance to work it out, and that she's already seriously dating someone else... what part of any of that hints at the possibility of her making any sort of effort for us to get back together?!
i gotta find a way to put myself in more win/win situations.
needless to say i'm feeling a lot of mixed emotions and they have me pretty confused about what to do.
*deep breath*
i'm addicted to reacting to my emotions.
i know that this is one of my weaknesses because reacting to stimulus without consciously choosing my actions has lead to an irresponsible and non-proactive lifestyle. through my upbringing/life's circumstances/being male/whatever the reason i've been conditioned to suppress and hide my feelings; which is something i'm not very good at. and acting out on my addiction has almost always been to not feel. even tho d.'s still literally on my mind everyday no matter what i'm doing or who i'm with, i'm in this extremely uncomfortable position now where i need to suppress and stop having all these strong feelings for her because not only is she not with me, but she's with someone else. the problem lies in the fact that at the same time i feel this need to suppress any and all feelings for her i know that i shouldn't try and suppress my feelings because then i'm just giving in to the addictive habit of not feeling.
i'm supposed to feel!
God made me to feel and he made ME to feel very strongly and deeply.
there is a bright side. as i've continued to work recovery, i've learned a lot more about myself and i've come to appreciate my emotions as one of my greatest strengths. because i have such strong emotions and feel so deeply, i am able to be more ambitious more driven more motivated and more passionate than i would ever be without them. yes, allowing myself to feel so strongly can leave me vulnerable, but its my strong emotions and feelings and passions that make me uniquely me.
through practice i've become better at acting proactively on my feelings and giving myself more time to make choices for what i want in the future and not simply reacting to a stimulus now.
something to keep my mind occupied
something to take my attention away from what i'm feeling
writing has become my therapy.
so i write.
and for better or for worse i'm not really making much effort to censor it.
i do feel like i probably shouldn't share such raw emotions in this setting because it might have an affect on d. and i don't want to do anything that might negatively affect her even tho she made the choice to no longer be an intimate part of my life.
but then i begin to question if maybe i'm writing this is out of some subconscious ulterior motive because i know that she might read it and maybe it could effect some change...
but then i think about the midnight texts she sent me the last week saying how everything she did reminded her of me and that she was remembering the good times of our relationship... all the while she was with her new boy on a vacation back to visit her home. and then i think about the emotional roller-coaster i went on from reading those texts and not being able to control the excited feelings of hope that immediately came, only to later re-read the texts and realize she made it a point to correct what she had sent me to say she really only missed the daily friendship and that could be replaced with time.
dissed.
and then i think about how that resulted in absolutely no change no effort no nothing from her but that i was still alone and made perfectly aware again of the void still in me and having to fight back against all these strong emotions i have for her that had escaped. and it also helped me to realize that even a month later she still has a lot more of an affect on me than i'd like to admit.
but then i think about everything i said and did and tried for another chance at "us" and how i got shut down at every effort and that none of that made any change so her reading this emotionally vulnerable blog post really won't change anything either. in fact i'd guess it might even give her a lil more confidence in the decision to leave and move on to the next guy 'cause why would you want to be with someone with all my problems and who's this distraught... heh heh... efffff...
lose/lose...
also why is it that every time i tell someone we broke up their follow up question is always "is it permanent?" what does that even mean?! i just told you she broke up with me, that i tried to do everything i could think of for another chance to work it out, and that she's already seriously dating someone else... what part of any of that hints at the possibility of her making any sort of effort for us to get back together?!
i gotta find a way to put myself in more win/win situations.
needless to say i'm feeling a lot of mixed emotions and they have me pretty confused about what to do.
*deep breath*
i'm addicted to reacting to my emotions.
i know that this is one of my weaknesses because reacting to stimulus without consciously choosing my actions has lead to an irresponsible and non-proactive lifestyle. through my upbringing/life's circumstances/being male/whatever the reason i've been conditioned to suppress and hide my feelings; which is something i'm not very good at. and acting out on my addiction has almost always been to not feel. even tho d.'s still literally on my mind everyday no matter what i'm doing or who i'm with, i'm in this extremely uncomfortable position now where i need to suppress and stop having all these strong feelings for her because not only is she not with me, but she's with someone else. the problem lies in the fact that at the same time i feel this need to suppress any and all feelings for her i know that i shouldn't try and suppress my feelings because then i'm just giving in to the addictive habit of not feeling.
i'm supposed to feel!
God made me to feel and he made ME to feel very strongly and deeply.
there is a bright side. as i've continued to work recovery, i've learned a lot more about myself and i've come to appreciate my emotions as one of my greatest strengths. because i have such strong emotions and feel so deeply, i am able to be more ambitious more driven more motivated and more passionate than i would ever be without them. yes, allowing myself to feel so strongly can leave me vulnerable, but its my strong emotions and feelings and passions that make me uniquely me.
through practice i've become better at acting proactively on my feelings and giving myself more time to make choices for what i want in the future and not simply reacting to a stimulus now.
10 July 2013
The Work of Salvation
one of my brothers just got home from his 2 year mission in brazil. i was lucky enough to come home to WA to be here for it. it's really been a great experience to be here with all of my brothers and family. as he was getting released, i thought about how much his service in the mission field might have had an affect on the experiences that i've been blessed to go through these last couple of years.
when my dad spoke he talked about some of the trials my brother wrote about in his emails and mentioned our newly adopted family motto which is a quote from Joseph B. Wirthlin:
"Come what may and love it."
we don't have control over what difficulties/trials/hardships we are faced with, but we do have control over our attitudes and that is where we can find true happiness.
during the worldwide missionary broadcast The Work of Salvation there was a quote from President Joseph Fielding Smith:
"To save the souls of those who have strayed from the fold is just as worthy and commendable and causes just as much rejoicing in heaven as to save souls in far away parts of the earth."
brazil is definitely a far away part of the earth and he was blessed with the opportunity to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to bring many people to the light and knowledge of the restored gospel. i then thought about how many people are affected by this addiction, how many of us there are that feel trapped and in bondage from the sin and guilt and hurt and pain and fear and doubt that this problem creates and how many there are that go to just my local ARP meetings. i don't have to go far to find many who have strayed from the fold (myself included). then the realization came to me that made this quote my new favorite quote for recovery:
recovery is missionary work!
i get to share my personal experiences, what works for me and what doesn't. i get to testify of the principles of the restored gospel and of Heavenly Father and of His son Jesus Christ. i get to test and practice and live what i study and learn for myself and i am blessed to receive inspiration and promptings from the Holy Ghost as i seek more light and knowledge on how to overcome this addiction. i've been blessed with the opportunity to be a missionary all the days of my life because i am committed to working recovery all the days of my life and recovery is missionary work. for this i am grateful because we all know how much the Lord blesses His missionaries!
one of those promised blessings was given by an apostle of the Lord, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland during this broadcast:
"As you act upon the direction you will be given... you will feel Him guiding you and lifting you and directing you to do that which on your own is far beyond your capacity, but that with Him is always possible."
i of myself am powerless to overcome this addiction, but with Him there is nothing i can't do. as i continue to work and travel along this path of recovery i can be His missionary and an instrument in His hands to be there to lift up others who are in need of help finding the way back to Him.
when my dad spoke he talked about some of the trials my brother wrote about in his emails and mentioned our newly adopted family motto which is a quote from Joseph B. Wirthlin:
"Come what may and love it."
we don't have control over what difficulties/trials/hardships we are faced with, but we do have control over our attitudes and that is where we can find true happiness.
during the worldwide missionary broadcast The Work of Salvation there was a quote from President Joseph Fielding Smith:
"To save the souls of those who have strayed from the fold is just as worthy and commendable and causes just as much rejoicing in heaven as to save souls in far away parts of the earth."
brazil is definitely a far away part of the earth and he was blessed with the opportunity to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to bring many people to the light and knowledge of the restored gospel. i then thought about how many people are affected by this addiction, how many of us there are that feel trapped and in bondage from the sin and guilt and hurt and pain and fear and doubt that this problem creates and how many there are that go to just my local ARP meetings. i don't have to go far to find many who have strayed from the fold (myself included). then the realization came to me that made this quote my new favorite quote for recovery:
recovery is missionary work!
i get to share my personal experiences, what works for me and what doesn't. i get to testify of the principles of the restored gospel and of Heavenly Father and of His son Jesus Christ. i get to test and practice and live what i study and learn for myself and i am blessed to receive inspiration and promptings from the Holy Ghost as i seek more light and knowledge on how to overcome this addiction. i've been blessed with the opportunity to be a missionary all the days of my life because i am committed to working recovery all the days of my life and recovery is missionary work. for this i am grateful because we all know how much the Lord blesses His missionaries!
one of those promised blessings was given by an apostle of the Lord, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland during this broadcast:
"As you act upon the direction you will be given... you will feel Him guiding you and lifting you and directing you to do that which on your own is far beyond your capacity, but that with Him is always possible."
i of myself am powerless to overcome this addiction, but with Him there is nothing i can't do. as i continue to work and travel along this path of recovery i can be His missionary and an instrument in His hands to be there to lift up others who are in need of help finding the way back to Him.
07 July 2013
Fight The New Drug
was feeling a little BLASTD today (really just bored and lonely) and have spent the last hour cleaning my room, doing my laundry and reading recovery blogs.
proactivity is the best way to overcome the urges because if you wait to react, it means you're already being acted upon you.
i do want to just say thank you to all of you who write and are open and honest in your struggles and share your victories and your failures and how motivating your stories are for me to continue my fight in this war. during my readings i came across a website Fight The New Drug.
on their homepage they had this intro video:
loved it. the website has a blog and other content about fighting this new drug that im excited to read. i also kind of really like that its not a religious website because it helps to open up my perspective that this drug that is pornography affects a lot more aspects of our lives than just our spirituality and affects a lot more people than just us in the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. one of the things i really liked was there was this pledge you can sign and it echoed a lot of the values i have. you can find it on the website but i wanted to share it here.
I AM STRONG I have joined an army of supporters and will rely on their strength as well as my own to adopt a new shouldering of obligation in helping others understand how pornography is affecting their lives.
I AM OPEN MINDED I recognize that mine is not the only opinion. I will respect other's points of views just as i expect them to do the same towards me.
I AM BOLD I am not afraid to speak openly about the effects of pornography.
I AM ENCOURAGING I will not turn my back on those that need my help. I will commit to helping them overcome the effects of pornography.
I AM UNDERSTANDING I am away of the difficulty some may face ridding their lives of pornography. Rather than condemning actions I will help relieve shame.
I AM REAL I do not pursue false imitations or masked presentations. I am confident enough in myself to be genuine.
I AM ACCEPTING I know that judging other's actions is not my place. I will respectfully promote my opinions but in the end allow others to choose for themselves.
I AM A TRUE LOVER I seek real relationships and shun their hollow counterfeits.
I AM REBEL I refuse to follow the status quo. I will do what needs to be done and say what needs to be said regardless of what is popular.
I AM SEXY There is nothing more sexy than two committed individuals together. I will not be that lone ranger looking for love from behind the computer screen.
I AM A FIGHTER
we're all in this together! we are never alone! our efforts to be in recovery from this addiction in our own lives and our efforts to help others fight this new drug CAN and DOES make a difference.
there is no wasted effort in this fight against pornography.
proactivity is the best way to overcome the urges because if you wait to react, it means you're already being acted upon you.
i do want to just say thank you to all of you who write and are open and honest in your struggles and share your victories and your failures and how motivating your stories are for me to continue my fight in this war. during my readings i came across a website Fight The New Drug.
on their homepage they had this intro video:
loved it. the website has a blog and other content about fighting this new drug that im excited to read. i also kind of really like that its not a religious website because it helps to open up my perspective that this drug that is pornography affects a lot more aspects of our lives than just our spirituality and affects a lot more people than just us in the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. one of the things i really liked was there was this pledge you can sign and it echoed a lot of the values i have. you can find it on the website but i wanted to share it here.
I AM STRONG I have joined an army of supporters and will rely on their strength as well as my own to adopt a new shouldering of obligation in helping others understand how pornography is affecting their lives.
I AM OPEN MINDED I recognize that mine is not the only opinion. I will respect other's points of views just as i expect them to do the same towards me.
I AM BOLD I am not afraid to speak openly about the effects of pornography.
I AM ENCOURAGING I will not turn my back on those that need my help. I will commit to helping them overcome the effects of pornography.
I AM UNDERSTANDING I am away of the difficulty some may face ridding their lives of pornography. Rather than condemning actions I will help relieve shame.
I AM REAL I do not pursue false imitations or masked presentations. I am confident enough in myself to be genuine.
I AM ACCEPTING I know that judging other's actions is not my place. I will respectfully promote my opinions but in the end allow others to choose for themselves.
I AM A TRUE LOVER I seek real relationships and shun their hollow counterfeits.
I AM REBEL I refuse to follow the status quo. I will do what needs to be done and say what needs to be said regardless of what is popular.
I AM SEXY There is nothing more sexy than two committed individuals together. I will not be that lone ranger looking for love from behind the computer screen.
I AM A FIGHTER
we're all in this together! we are never alone! our efforts to be in recovery from this addiction in our own lives and our efforts to help others fight this new drug CAN and DOES make a difference.
there is no wasted effort in this fight against pornography.
03 July 2013
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