22 October 2013

treating my emotional appendicitis

i eat healthy.
i exercise... sometimes too much.
i say my prayers.
i read my scriptures.
i go to church.
i set goals.
i plan my day.
i have every righteous intention of doing what i know i need to do to live a happy healthy and successful life...

but i can't. 

it is literally the most frustrating thing in the world to see this huge discrepancy between what i feel i'm capable of doing and desiring nothing more than to act on those righteous intentions, and then just not being able to...

my life has become unmanageable

met with my therapist today.
we talked for around 30 minutes about what i've gone through with the recent and not so recent events in my life.
he then handed me a short questionnaire to fill out.
i scored in the mid 60's.
anything 50 or above is considered to be severe clinical depression.

as of this afternoon 
i was diagnosed 
by a professional psychologist 
with:

"severe" clinical depression.

so theres that...

i guess it is a relief to finally bring whats been holding me back for so long out of the dark and into the light so i can address it and hopefully through the medication i just received and working with my therapist in conjunction with my addiction recovery, finally break free from the vicious cycle that's held me captive and impeded my progress for all these years.

onward and upward

6 comments:

  1. It's good that you have a diagnosis and are getting help! That is great progress.

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  2. I'm glad you received a diagnosis. That's a huge step to getting better!! Chin up... you can do this. We have been built to accomplish hard things!

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  3. Good for you! During a particularly rough time last year, I went on Zoloft and it was a real blessing. Glad you had the courage to pursue a diagnosis and are willing to seek treatment.

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