05 June 2013

not meet for man to travel alone in the wilderness

so last night i was doing my daily gospel study in the library and i got a text from my mom. she told me how much she loved me, that she was thinking of me and praying for me. i read it, a smile came over my face, made a mental note to reply once i finished, moved my phone back to where it was and continued my studies. however, no more than mere moments passed when i began to feel this unusual sense of calmness and peace that came over me. i acknowledged the feeling, but wasn't entirely sure of the reason for it.

then a thought entered my mind. i had the impression that my mother's prayers were similar in power to a father's blessing. it seemed like an interesting idea that i decided to share with my mom in a text, added that i loved her, and went back to studying.

then came a testimony. a completely unexpected witness from the Holy Ghost who decided i was worthy to be taught about the divinity of women. you women are truly amazing. i hate how much this addiction so easily lends itself to objectifying and devaluing their heavenly worth -- there really is something extremely sacred about womanhood. i was impressed by a sense of the preciousness of the daughters of our Heavenly Father. i've never felt such a profound reverence as i did then contemplating the special role females play in this eternal plan of happiness. 

i found myself praying and wishing to keep this same overwhelming appreciation and respect with me always!  i knew that it would be literally impossible to allow myself to look through the selfish and sexually objectifying lens which this addiction tries to force my vision.

And then a revelation of truth: it is possible to always feel this way!

3 comments:

  1. Love hearing about the personal revelation you have received and such love from your mama:-)

    You're right, this addiction does devalue women. But I'd like to point out that it also devalue's men. There are male participants in that which we view as well. Also, anyone who is actively participating in this addiction is being devalued... you have been devalued. This addiction hurts everyone, not just women.

    Chin up!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment! it really is so true... its a little easier to try and find value in something outside of me and look past my own self worth, or as most often the case, the lack thereof. This addiction has definitely disintegrated a lot of it if not all of it.

      I wonder how much more I'd be able to value the women in my life if i were better able to see the value of my own life

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    2. I really think you hit it on the nose there... I have found through my own recovery that as I focus on my Savior and learn to love Him and be like Him that I start seeing people as He sees them... including myself.

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