06 May 2013

RAPID DEPLOYMENT DEFENSE SYSTEM

they say you only have three seconds to change your thoughts after being tempted before the chemicals in your brain will take over. as we read in step one from elder russell m. nelson, an aposlte of the Lord and a renowned surgeon, "through chemical means, one can literally become disconnected from his or her own will". after that point you wont have the ability to think rationally enough to convince yourself not to give in. you have just three seconds to stop the chain reaction of those chemicals in your brain before they rob you of your reason.

3 seconds

thats it. three measly seconds. three tiny ticks of the hand on the clock. and those small three seconds are all the time youre allotted. And in that brief moment of time there is so much that has to happen to be able to protect yourself and stay on recovery.

you first have to be able to recognize that you are being tempted and are under attack. then after recognizing whats happening, you have to act. action is the most important principle. in those three seconds any hesitation will leave you fallen, bruised and broken. there must be a quick defense you have that you can use.

survival equipment needed
for this i had to think a little more outside the realm of just outdoors survival, and delve slightly into the realm of espionage. i love james bond. so i googled james bond gadgets to see if anything would match what i was imagining; and then i saw it. the grappling hook gun. Typically grappling hooks are used to temporarily secure one end of a rope and this is exactly what i was thinking of. In those three seconds, i need something that i can fire off and secure onto the path of recovery to keep me grounded and with the rope i can pull myself back onto the path without slipping. perfect.

i didnt know what my grappling gun was yet until i started writing this post... and that may be why i slipped today. i did my dailies, but when i found myself in mists of darkness, i didnt have a way to get back on track within those precious three seconds and i lost myself in the darkness.

grappling hooks:
prayer - i feel like this should be the obvious first choice... but sometimes closing my eyes and trying to think to pray only gives the temptation a more vivid backdrop, and doesnt help as much as id like it to.
text - now remember that we have less than 3 seconds to act. maybe some of you are heroes when it comes to texting speed, but to turn my phone on, slide to unlock, open my messages, decide who it is im going to text, type out whatever it is i decide to say, hit send i might get lucky and be able to do all that in 3 seconds. but then how long are you waiting for a response back? not reliable enough for me to depend upon on a consistent basis
call - this definitely is a faster option than texting because the process is shorter. i dont have to type anything out and hit send and wait for a response. after opening my calls or contacts i just click on whoever i decide and i'm dialed in and listening to the ringing. So i would definitely recommend calling someone over texting, but again the reliability issue comes into play again. people are busy and might not have their phones on them and even if they do, might not be in a position to answer the call and do anything to help.
leave - novel idea. just leave the area of temptation. if you retreat, you can live to fight another day. i think this is our best bet. there is an inherent caution tho when using this as your quick defense system; it is not enough. you are leaving to buy yourself more time, not time away from temptation, but time to activate another line of defense that would have taken more than the less than three seconds. so as much as i like leaving, its not a complete defense system.
emp - basically just shut off all electronics. my laptop is where i go to get my fix and if i shut everything off, i don't have access to it anymore. this one is similar to the leave line of defense. it turns off my computer, but im taking classes that most of the work i have to do online so it doesnt really fix anything because i can't just avoid the internet forever.

the hardest part about this is that if it takes you more than the three seconds you will more often than not be unable to convince yourself to activate your defense.  there were so many times today where i thought i should text someone or get up and leave and do something else but i just could not act on it.. i didnt act within the time limit and i resigned my agency to be acted upon 

i do want to make clear that this is in no way me trying to justify my decisions or to excuse myself from my actions. i am completely responsible for the choices i make wether under the influence of my addiction or not

there is one last defense that just came into my mind.
true prayer - praying like i mentioned in the first candidate for my grappling hook to safe ground, is merely going through the motions. and that is why it fails. you must seek the lord with real intent. and how do you show your intent? it isnt with what you say. its with what you do. so what is true prayer? true prayer is on your knees, pleading with God, in the name of His son Jesus Christ out loud. that is true prayer.

as i thought about a grappling hook gun, i came to the realization that it isnt just one singular action. there are multiple parts that all have a specific function to allow it to work. this realization helped me to formulate my own grappling gun mechanism.

so here is my 3 part RDDS (rapid deployment defense system)
emp: wether sitting at my desk, laying on my bed or on the couch in my living room, i know for a fact that i can turn my phone off and/or shutdown my computer in less than 3 seconds. i can do this faster than anything else and it increases the effectiveness of the next component of this system.
leave: the next thing i will do is move. if i was feeling urges sitting at my desk, i need to get up be somewhere else; anywhere else. if you find yourself in an open field and theres a massive storm approaching and you start to feel those rain drops on your head, you do not stay put and try to convince yourself that you wont get rained on. you look for shelter and do it fast.
true prayer: the last and most powerful component of the RDDS. seeking inspiration and strength from God. where light is darkness cannot be. there is not only healing power in the atonement, but also enabling power. and as you pray to your Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, on your knees and not just in your mind, but vocalizing your supplication out loud, you can ask to know what more to do with the time you have to better protect yourself from the fiery darts of temptation. whether that be calling someone, texting someone or whatever other defneses you have prepared.

practice and practice and practice using your RDDS so that youll have developed those habits when you need to use it.

those first three seconds are the most important.
be ready to act. 
be ready to act fast.




2 comments:

  1. of course i can't remember where the scripture is.. but what is the story where the man is tempted by the woman (by a fountain? im terrible at scripture stories…) and he turned and RAN.

    i love this story. even if i cant remember where it is lol.
    would it be possible to run?
    literally bare foot or not, to run.
    i just looked at a couple scriptures on running—most of them are running from Evil and toward Christ's open arms.

    "And shall run and not be weary…"
    i think that scripture is amazing to apply to recovery!

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  2. keep writing. keep working hard babe.
    i can see the growth and changes.
    you are a valiant son of God.
    you are doing great things.

    i love you.

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