cecret lake

cecret lake, albion basin, ut

went on a hike up to cecret lake this past weekend with some friends. one of the girls that came with was a little bit unconditioned for physical activity. we had to make multiple stops along the way so she could catch her breath but that wasn't a problem at all. i'd never been up here before so i was taking it all in and the hike was meant to be enjoyed and not a strenuous workout. however, at one point she got extremely light headed and turned quite pale. i made sure she sat down got some water and ate something and then we all waited for her to start to look and feel better... and we waited... and waited...

the steepest part of the trail was in front of us and i could imagine how intimidating this unknown length of switchbacks might have appeared. none of us had been on this hike before so we had no idea how much farther we'd have to travel and i wondered if all of us would be able to make it. i had a feeling we were close tho and as i usually do when i'm just sitting around i got pretty antsy. i needed to get up and do something. so i decided i'd hurry and run the rest of the way to see how far away we were and then run back. 

little did i know that this gorgeous lake was literally just out of our sight on the other side of this last little climb which was no more than 50 yds or so away. we were so close. and yet because we couldn't see the destination and were unfamiliar with the area we stopped and waited for over 30 minutes.

it was important for her to rest and recover, but i have to assume that had we known how close we actually were to the lake, we wouldn't have sat there and waited in the shadow of the hill on the side of the dusty trail for so long and instead would have pushed through that last little difficult part of the climb and spent that time resting while we enjoyed our intended destination: the beautiful scenic area that is cecret lake.

i see myself as the girl in that situation in regards to my recovery from this annoyingly degrading and debilitating and destructive addiction that i hate hate hate hate that i have. i feel like ive been on the side of this trail trying to catch my breath for a while now. ive been climbing and climbing and climbing and there are times where i can recognize that i have made a lot of progress. but that just never enough for me. 

i want to get to my lake 
perhaps the harder the climb is the greater the joy i'll be able to experience when i get there
i want there to be someone special in my life i can share that experience with
i don't know how far away my lake is 
but i can't let that keep me from still progressing towards it.

this past week and a half has been hell, and sitting here on the side of the trail thinking im resting and catching my breath isn't doing anything for me and won't get me any closer to where i want to be. 

this is my midnight hike getting back on the trail.
moving forward with faith