not that i'm trying to replace that by sharing my thoughts through my blog, but sharing has become important to me and i've learned to enjoy it and so i'd like to share with you my thoughts from the group i attended tonight.
- i wanna know how forever feels.
- this program works to the degree that you work it. the program assists those who desire to recover from addiction. hope and healing comes from practicing the twelve steps.
- new sobriety tracking method. just like in personal fitness if we get so fixated on just a single number: like how much i weigh, we can be blind to all the other areas of progress that we might be gaining results in like strength, endurance, body measurements and body composition. just as the number on the scale doesn't tell the whole story of my health and fitness, in a similar way, the streak of days since my last slip doesn't necessarily give an accurate representation of my progress in recovery. i feel it places too much an emphasis on when was the last slip and unneeded pressure to not slip because if you do you have to start all over again at zero. there is no restart button in this life, its all about continual progression. once i'm getting months under my belt then maybe i'll go back to that method, but for now i'm going to test if tracking my sobriety by how many days this month have i been sober will be a more positive and motivating method for tracking my sobriety.
- this week was just like the week of step 3. this i exactly what i want. i want the change of heart, i'm trying to let go of my addiction. the fear and doubt that contribute to the negative feelings that trigger me acting out on my addiction are directly in opposition to the truths and hope that i can read and learn and gain a testimony about in my daily studies.
- addiction begins in the mind and heart and this is where healing must begin also.
- it all takes time. time. marinate in the gospel. parable of the pickle by elder bednar. constant and consistent effort is the only way to get true and lasting results
- lehi's vision. he was following an angel of the lord in complete darkness for hours. it wasn't until he prayed and sought out the Lord that the vision was then opened up to him. he was a prophet and was having a vision and was following an angel and even then we was still encircled about by darkness for hours. seek christ.
- as a man, i feel the need to be strong. for whatever reason i've been conditioned to feel that my emotions are weakness. i use my addiction to cover and escape my emotions, but my emotions and expresing them and feeling my emotions isn't weakness. humility is power and strength under control. the more humble i am the stronger i am and i can humbly feel and experience the highs and lows that come from my emotions and still stand strong and still be a worthy priesthood holder and still be the true definition of a man.
- alcoholics completely avoid going into bars. what are my online "bars" that i let myself be fooled into entering thiking i'll be safe? don't enter those "bars"!
- i literally need the Savior's help ALL the time. unfortunately its usually only in our trials and our hardships that we recognize that need for Him.
- Satan has counterfeits for every spiritual gift and blessing. remember my convo with my cousin this last weekend in cali about the gifts of the spirit and Moses vs. the pharaoh's priests.
- abstinence can make my other weaknesses more prevalent. this is a good thing.
- just like breakfast doesn't fuel my body throughout the entire day, so must i constantly seek spiritual nourishment throughout the day.
- a lactose intolerant person cannot eat dairy and be at their healthiest. but simply avoiding dairy while still eating junk food and drinking pop will not help them be healthy either
- control what i can control and hand everything else over to God's care. and submit everything i can control to align with God's will, and then do all i can to carry out His will.
- book to read: healing the shame that binds you.
- even tho she's no longer with me she's still a huge part of who i've become and i hope to one day celebrate with my her in the celestial kingdom for the role she played in my life. i hope i can have that desire/motivation/perspective for everyone that has/is/will be a part of my life.
P, this is a great post. These are the recovery posts that we go back and read when reocvery doesn't make any sense. I've done that. I like the list of eadch item. I especially like that you don't make a list of: "no tv at night, no facebook after 8 pm, no this, no that," and the exhaustive 'control the addiction' lists. The main points here are the emotions and allowing yourself to feel them. And also the recognition that God has to be a part of our battle. And not just once a day but all day. It does take time and alot of work. It requires a heck of alot of patience too.
ReplyDeleteHave we emailed yet?? I want to get your phone number.