INTRODUCTION

hi.

my name is p. and im a grateful son of God recovering from an addiction to lust and pornography and masturbation and this is my blog.

ive never had a blog before so this is all kind of new and exciting. And I must admit that when my girlfriend d. tells me all about these blogs she follows and some new post she just read... ive zoned out on almost all of it because i wasnt really into blogs.  well i figured it was time to change all that and the best way i could think of to gain an appreciation for all you bloggers out there is to try and blog myself.

ive had this addiction for about as long as i can remember. probably close to 20 years now. ive done a lot on my own to try to overcome it. ive met with almost every bishop ive ever had. ive met with a therapist. went to a few sexual addiction group sessions. nothing has worked.

im in a committed relationship to an amazing girl named d. all my subconscious attempts to push her away to protect her from my addiction have been in vain. shes still with me. a year later. and is one of the most important catalysts supports and motivators of my recovery. she was the one who found out and introduced me to the LDS 12 step recovery program. a version of the AA 12 steps program modified by the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

i started going in january and for the first time in my life i have a sense of hope that there is a way, that there are things i can do, to remove this addiction from me and to reach my potential.

Now i am not a very spiritual person nor am i a trained survivalist (i really shouldnt say im not spiritual though... because i am a very spiritual person, im just suffering through a very spiritually debilitating illness that makes me feel like i am not very spiritual), but what i love about survivalists is that they have trained and practiced and developed the discipline and the skills to be able to survive in just about any situation in just about any climate or location.

i know that i alone am powerless to overcome this addiction.

i also know that i cannot idly wait in my sin fone one day to wake up and magically no longer be addicted.

i hope that through my experiences struggles successes and sharing i can recover from this addiction and help someone else along the way.